Lle Llywela

Because I'm on a roll today...

Starting the Supernatural re-watch and review-fest.


Returning to the pilot with the benefit of hindsight, having already seen the rest of the series, is fascinating – so many small details that were built on in later episodes.

So. In the beginning there was a happy little family made up of John and Mary Winchester and their two young sons – four-year-old Dean, and baby Sammy – who all lived together in a big old house in Lawrence, Kansas.

And then creepiness kicks in – the clock in the baby's room stops, the lights flicker, the mobile starts turning and playing all by itself in our first glimpse of ghostly EVP. The dark figure standing over the baby's cot shushes Mary, and the fact that there is a figure standing there is fairly significant. And then Mary realises that John is asleep in front of the TV downstairs and races back to the baby's room, where all hell breaks loose.

Hearing his wife scream, John wakes and likewise races up to the baby's room. Blood dripping into the crib alerts him to the awful truth, and he looks up just in time to see his wife's bleeding body pinned to the ceiling before it bursts into flames. So, he grabs the baby and runs from the room. So, he grabs the baby and runs from the room. Finding little Dean in the corridor outside, he thrusts the baby into his four-year-old arms.

John: "Take your brother outside as fast as you can. Don't look back. Now, Dean, go!"

This is the single most important formative moment in Dean's life.

With the responsibility for saving his baby brother's life resting on his four-year-old shoulders, Dean runs with his burden, while John returns to the nursery, despite the fact that Mary is very obviously already dead, so there isn't much he can really do for her other than despair. Therein, the fire appears to engulf him…

"It's okay, Sammy," little Dean tells his baby brother as he stands outside the burning house holding him, and then John comes dashing out to sweep them both up and carry them further away, apparently not burnt to a crisp after all.

Fire trucks come to douse the flames, and John sits, desolate, holding onto his boys, staring at the ruins of his life, trying to comprehend what on earth happened.

Fast forward 22 years and young Sam is now at Stanford University. The photo of John and Mary that we previously saw on their bedside table is now in Sam's apartment, confirming his identity and also that at least some personal possessions were recovered after the fire.

"You know how I feel about Halloween," Sam tells his girlfriend Jessica as she hauls him off to a party. Maybe she does, but the audience doesn't, although the implication is that he isn't fond. Conversation tells us that Sam is a brilliant student, with a important interview the following week to get him into Law School.

Student: "How's it feel to be the golden boy of your family?"
Sam: "Oh, they don't know?"
Student: "No? I would be gloating! Why not?"
Sam: "'Cause we're not exactly the Brady's."

This exchange establishes that Sam is estranged from what's left of his family, while his interaction with Jessica confirms their relationship – stable and very much in love. The family estrangement aside, Sam's life seems to be completely normal…

Then, later that night, he's woken by an intruder and creeps silently, and very efficiently, out to see who it is, fights him, is pinned by him…

Dean: "Whoa, easy, tiger."
Sam: "Dean? You scared the crap out of me!"
Dean: "That's cause you're out of practice."
Sam instantly turns the tables, and Dean laughs.
Dean: "Or not."

I love the conversation that follows – watching it again, from the vantage point of having seen the rest of the season, it establishes so much about the brothers, and how the last 22 years have gone for them, that is later explored in more detail.

Sam is instantly defensive and on guard, wanting to know what his brother is doing there, while Dean hides whatever he's feeling about this little reunion beneath a careless and casual manner before giving in to Sam's distrustful questioning.

Dean: "We've got to talk."
Sam: "Uh – the phone?"
Dean: "If I'd've called, would you have picked up?"

Unfortunately, since I'd really like to know, Sam doesn't get to answer that question as Jessica appears, all scantily clad and concerned about the noise, and her amazement at actually meeting Sam's brother tells a story all of its own. She's obviously heard of him, but just as obviously never expected to actually meet him, which begs the question – what has Sam actually told her about his family?

Dean wants to talk to Sam privately, Sam's prickliness increases and he insists that Jessica can hear whatever Dean has to say, and at this point Dean starts to select his words very carefully. When Dean first tells Sam that their dad hasn't been home in a few days, Sam very deliberately misunderstands and brushes it off. So Dean alters his wording just enough.

Dean: "Dad's on a hunting trip. And he hasn't been home in a few days."
Sam: "Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside."

There is clearly a lot more than meets the eye where the family Winchester is concerned.

Sam's determination not to get involved in whatever's going on shines through as the brothers head outside, furiously telling Dean that he can't just break into the house in the middle of the night and expect Sam to go with him.

Dean: "You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing. I need you to help me find him."
Sam: "He's always missing. He's always fine."

I love that Dean automatically calls Sam 'Sammy'. It just feels so natural and brotherly. And – 'he's always missing'? Again, a few short words tell a long story, and the incidents Sam cites as proof tell an even bigger story about the kind of prey John Winchester tends to go hunting – spirits and poltergeists rather than duck or deer. Seems the death of his wife in such unusual circumstances has had a massive impact on him and, therefore, also on his sons.

Sam: "I swore I was done hunting. For good."
Dean: "Come on, it wasn't easy but it wasn't that bad."
Sam: "Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a .45."
Dean: "What was he supposed to do?"
Sam: "I was nine years old. He was supposed to say 'don't be afraid of the dark'."
Dean: "Don't be afraid of the dark? Are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark! You know what's out there."

So telling. And what's out there Dean completely takes for granted, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, while Sam is more resentful of it. He continues to rant about the way they were raised after their mother's death, quickly sketching out how the past 22 years have gone – John became obsessed with finding the thing that killed Mary and has been hunting it fruitlessly ever since, but more successfully killing a lot of other dangerous things along the way.

To Sam's way of thinking it is pointless; from Dean's point of view, they've saved a lot of people.

Sam: "You think Mom would have wanted this for us? The weapon training? Melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors."
Dean: "So what are you going to do? You're just going to live some normal, apple-pie life, is that it?"
Sam: "No, not normal – safe."
Dean: "And that's why you ran away."
Sam: "I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was going to go I should stay gone."

The difference between their outlooks on life couldn't be more marked. It has taken John's disappearance to bring Dean here in search of his brother.

Dean: "I can't do this alone."
Sam: "Yes, you can."
Dean: "Yeah, well, I don't want to."

Another simple little line, and spoken very lightly, but it tells us so much about Dean. And Sam starts to cave, very slightly, asking about the case John was working and why he went alone. Seems Dean was working a case of his own at the time.

Sam (incredulous): "Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself?"
Dean: "I'm 26, dude."

It's important to know that Dean can and has hunted alone. He just doesn't like to, and given how dangerous it clearly is – as we learn over the course of the season – hunting alone is clearly a lot less safe than it is possible.

The case John was investigating was to do with a particular stretch of road where he'd noticed a pattern of disappearances over a twenty-year period: always men, always in the same place, and Dean is all admiration of his dad's work in putting it all together. John went to investigate, and that's the last Dean heard – three weeks ago, rather than the few days he said earlier. Then, the previous day, Dean received a worrying voicemail, hard to make out – the final words are "We're all in danger." And there's EVP on it, another message in the background, a woman's voice whispering, "I can never go home." It was this message that sent him here in search of Sam rather than wait any longer for John to return.

"You know, in almost two years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing." Dean pulls a guilt-trip on Sam. Two years? If Dean is 26 and Sam is 22, surely he's been at college for four years, not two. So – the writers have admitted that this was an error, but the dodgy timeline is there in the canon now. We are left to assume that maybe there was at least partial contact for the first couple of years, between Sam and Dean if not between Sam and his Dad.

Sam is torn between family responsibility and the commitments he now has here. But he agrees to go and help find John – just for the weekend. He has to be back by Monday for his interview: that's the condition.

Then we see Sam packing a few things, including a wicked looking knife – I wonder where he was hiding that from Jessica! But if he had weapons like that with him, he clearly did give some thought to his own safety from the things out there in the dark while he was living his safe, normal life. He lies through his teeth to Jessica about what's going on, brushing it off as nothing really, just some family drama. Her concern is really sweet.

Jess: "It's just – you won't even talk about your family. And now you're taking off in the middle of the night to spend the weekend with them?"

Sam smiles, insists everything will be fine, and heads out…

Next up, Jericho, California, where a young lad drives along chattering on the phone to his girlfriend, only to fall into the trap of the Woman in White. She is seductive and creepy, and Young Lad falls for it, hook, line and sinker. "I can never go home," she murmurs. Blood and gore abound, and the stage is set for a ghostly mystery to be solved.

Stopping off for gas and supplies Sam raises the issue of payment. "You and Dad still running those credit card scams?" Neatly filling in for the audience another slice of life for the family Winchester. "All we do is apply," says Dean. "It's not our fault they send us the cards…" Because hunting isn't exactly a well paid career.

Sam: "You have got to update your cassette tape collection."
Dean: "Why?"
Sam: "Well, for one, they're cassette tapes. And two – Black Sabbath? Motorhead? Metallica? It's the greatest hits of mullet rock!"
Dean: "House rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole."
Mwahahah. Plus, it warms the cockles of my heart to hear Dean call Sam 'Sammy', and Sam's indignation.
Sam: "You know, 'Sammy' is a chubby twelve-year-old. It's Sam."

Bantering brotherly scenes like this are fab. *G*

While en route, Sam is calling around hospitals and morgues, just to drive home the point that they are actively searching for a missing person at this stage. But then, on arrival in Jericho, they stumble upon the aftermath/police investigation of the little White Lady incident we saw earlier, and Dean's spider sense instantly kicks in.

I love the little stash of fake IDs. And Sam's expression when he sees it, which – coming from this family, he should already know all the tricks of the trade they employ. Unless they've broadened their horizons since he left home, or he opted to forget the finer details.

What had been a gory blood fest in the car is now completely spotless – this is a ghost that cleans up after itself. Minor point, but it amuses me. An important minor point, though – the victims are registered as missing, not dead – there is no sign of any of the bodies.

Dean does a good impression of a federal marshal – he's clearly had a lot of practice at this whole false identity thing. Plus, he's obviously learned the cardinal rule – most of the time, you can get away with just about anything as long as you look as though you are meant to be doing it. Confidence is key, and he's got bags of that. And then the brotherly bickering picks up again - Sam kicking Dean's foot, and Dean smacking the back of his head, which amuses me no end - as they make their hasty exit having gained all the intel they can squeeze out of the local cops.

"We're all alone on this. If we're going to find Dad, we have to get to the bottom of this ourselves." That's all the motivation Dean needs to work on the case.

Next up, questioning the victim's girlfriend, and more assumed identities – its all pretty neat, really. Pretend to be someone close enough to the victim to have a reason for asking questions, but not too close, keep the details vague so as to avoid arousing suspicion – we see the boys pull this trick over and over throughout the series, and more often than not it comes off for them. Sam might have run away from this life, but he slides back into it easily enough. However much he disapproves of his brother's methods.

Amy: "With all these guys going missing, people talk."
Sam & Dean: "What do they talk about?"
LOL. The first time they say the same thing at the same time, but not the last. And evidence of how well they know one another, and this job, no matter how long they've been estranged.

Amy's friend tells them the local legend of the ghostly hitchhiker, and Dean googles it at a local library. Only for Sam to shove him out of the way and take charge of the computer himself, which amuses me more than it probably should. "Such a control freak," Dean mutters. And yeah – in episodes to come, Sam does prefer to do the research himself rather than trust his non-college educated brother to know what he's doing in that regard. Anyway, the research eventually comes up trumps on the original suicide at the bridge they were just at, one Constance Welch.

Out at the bridge another tense conversation about what exactly they're doing there highlights their very different outlooks on this. Other than being concerned about their missing dad, Dean is pretty laid-back. From his point of view, they just have to keep digging around – John was chasing this case, and they're chasing John. So they just have to work on the case and see where it leads them; it might take a while, but Dean seems okay with that. Sam, on the other hand, is a lot more agitated about the whole thing. He's on the clock, with his interview on Monday, and can't forget it. Coming here to help Dean out was a one off thing, after which he returns to his life.

A life that Dean now presses him on a little harder. "Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?"
Sam: "No. And she's not ever going to know."
Dean: "Well, that's healthy."

He's got a point – they both do. Sam's lack of honesty about his past will always cast a shadow over his relationship with Jessica, and deepen his estrangement from his family. But, on the flip side – how on earth can Sam tell her the truth? And the fact that they are both right, in their own way, probably contributes to the tension that cranks up another notch here. Sam is determined that this is not going to be his life; Dean believes they have a responsibility.

Sam: "If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like."
That's so sad, and the look on Dean's face as he says it shows that it cuts to the quick. Because Dean was old enough when she died to have memories of his mother.
Sam: "What difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back."

Dean reacts badly to that, slamming his brother up against the wall of the bridge. "Don't talk about her like that."

It takes a long time for him to get the words out, as well. There are reasons why they both feel so differently about their father's crusade for vengeance. To Sam, his mother is just a story, a face in a picture – he has no experience of her to relate to, and this never-ending quest for vengeance is the only life he ever knew before college, something he couldn't truly understand and wanted to escape from. But Dean clearly remembers enough of life before losing his mother to feel personally invested in John's crusade – both for John's sake and for Mary's.

And then the Woman in White appears, just to break the tension of the moment. Apparently, she's a little ticked off about their presence on her bridge as she drives Dean's car right at them and they have to jump off the bridge to escape her. Sam rather cleverly manages to grab onto the bridge and pull himself back up once it's safe to do so. And then, the fight they were having just moments earlier forgotten, he bellows for his brother, who is crawling out of the river down below and responds with the sardonic humour that's already well established as typical of him.

Dean is so protective of his car, worried about what the ghost might have done to it. It's adorable.

The trail is cold, but they need a place to stay – and for Dean to take a shower, 'cause he's pretty grubby after that unplanned dip in the river – and lo and behold, there's that trail they've been looking for. John stayed at the very same motel. Sam picks the lock to get them into his room, which amuses me again because Sam is so disapproving of the shadiness of their life, but he's clearly well trained beneath that fastidiousness. The room is a mess – John might have raised them like warriors, but he's certainly no neat freak. And he left in a hurry, judging by the half-eaten burger just left lying there. They take note of the salt and cat's eye shells strategically positioned around the room – John was worried, trying to keep something out. This informs the viewer that these things are used for protection against spirits – the salt, at least, will crop up again and again. And, from the vantage point of having seen the rest of the season, I'm now desperately wondering about the exact sequence of events that caused John to take off so abruptly.

The walls are covered with pages and pages of notes – John's research, giving them the solution to the local problem. A Woman in White. Since the boys are still going at this from the point of view of wanting to find John rather than simply solve the case, they assume that he would have dealt with it – found the bones, salted and burned them – before moving on, and so resolve to do likewise in the hopes of picking up his trail. But since they know there's been another disappearance since John vanished, they should know that he never got that far.

Sam tries to apologise for his heated words earlier, but Dean is just not in the mood and stops him in his tracks. "No chick flick moments." And no bearing grudges against the family, either – I get the impression that for Dean, once an argument is over, it's over, so the apology isn't necessary. Sam clearly felt the need to say it, though, but just as clearly isn't bothered by the brush off and as they cheerfully call each other names it all has an air of familiarity about it, as though they've done this a thousand times before. The words don't matter, the sentiment is there and they both know it, and it's over now – move on. No matter how long they've been estranged, they are both falling back into these long-established brotherly patterns with immense ease.

Love the faded photo of John with Young Dean and Sammy that Sam finds pinned to the mirror – adds a touch of familial realism, and I just love that John didn't just have the picture with him, but put it up there to be seen. But he didn't take it with him – presumably didn't have time. I also love that as Dean heads out in search of food, Sam is checking his messages and listening to one from Jessica – another nice touch, building up their relationship.

But the action keeps on rolling – Dean is no sooner out of the room than he's seen by the cops, and it's clear that the whole fake ID thing has been busted. That he instantly turns and walks in the other direction, not in hopes of escaping but to buy a few valuable seconds to call and warn Sam is another great little touch. "You got anything that's real?" asks the cop, after calling him on the fake ID. "My boots," says Dean with a perfectly straight face, clearly seeing no point in denying any of it.

At the police station, the pictures of missing persons taped to the wall of the motel room, plus all the 'Satanic mumbo jumbo' seems to be causing as much consternation as the fake ID thing, naturally enough. Insight into another downside of this gig. When you get busted, boy do you get busted and left completely incapable of ever being able to explain. Dean's cocky attitude vanishes completely, though when the cop pulls John's journal out and points to a page bearing his name and set of coordinates.

Left to continue the investigation alone, Sam is very smooth with the whole questioning thing, not to mention the 'lying through his teeth' thing.

Found myself snickering when the cops, rushing out to answer Sam's fake 911 call, cuff Dean to his chair rather than bothering to put him in a cell. Does that really happen? Anyway, Dean is left within easy reach of John's journal, with a handy paper clip sticking out of it…

Cue a deft pick of the lock, and a rapid escape from the station, journal in hand. The boys' extra-curricular education really must have been something. Sam asked earlier if this was what Mary would have wanted for them, and I find myself wondering that now. What would Mary say if she could see the life John has carved out for her sons?

Dean: "Fake 911 call, Sammy. I don't know, that's pretty illegal."
Sam: "You're welcome."
The actual words 'thank you' aren't needed. Just as earlier, the meaning rings through loud and clear. Boys talk in code.

Dean: "Same old ex-marine crap for when he wants to let us know where he's going."
Sam: "Coordinates."

So just how often has John pulled this vanishing act and left the boys to figure out where he's gone? Sam's words earlier added to this suggests it's a fairly regular occurrence – the only difference this time, perhaps, is that broken-up phone message he left for Dean that sent him rushing to Stanford in search of Sam's support. Also – ex-marine? Was John once a marine before settling down to marriage and fatherhood? Or has he simply learned a lot of 'marine' type tricks of the trade during his life as a ghost-hunter?

And then Sam drives clean through Constance – the Woman in White – mid conversation. He's in trouble now. With the previous victim she was given fairly rapid proof of his infidelity – or at least, his willingness to be unfaithful. With Sam, however, she won't take no for an answer, opting to lock him in the car and take control of it herself. Which leads me to wonder just how many of the previous victims actually were unfaithful – maybe she believed all men were capable of it, whether they actually had or not, and so chose to punish them all regardless. There's no real reason for her to break her pattern here, unless she recognised that Sam has been investigating her. Or maybe I'm over-thinking it…;-)

Constance isn't getting anywhere with Sam, so she decides to get on with the killing anyway, and then up pops Dean to the rescue, shooting out the side window of his beloved car to get the ghost off Sam. Who then adds insult to injury by driving the car right into the broken-down old house. The poor Impala! But to his credit, Dean is actually more concerned about his brother than the car.

How the heck did Dean get there so fast? Steal a car? I've no doubt that he would, and not think twice about it. But how did he know where Sam was? Sam never actually said that during their phone conversation.

Ghost Constance is taken out by her murdered ghost children in gruesome fashion, which I suppose saves them the job of salting and burning the bones, at least.

And then, case closed, the boys get to do that manly brusque affection thing, where they praise and thank each other without actually having to say the words as such, and now Dean can turn his attention to the car's little expedition through the wall.

Only one headlight is working as Dean drives Sam back to Stanford, which is a nice detail to follow on with. The coordinates John left in the journal are for Blackwater Ridge, Colorado, and Dean is all for heading straight there. But Sam has that interview in the morning and his whole life is at Stanford now, and he isn't willing to just walk away from it, not even to help Dean find John. Dean looks disappointed, understandably given what we've learned of him so far, but he agrees without arguing. "I'll take you home." Accepting that Sam's home is at Stanford now, with Jessica and his friends – a life that doesn't include Dean or John in any way, shape or form.

But when dropped off, Sam does at least make a token gesture toward keeping more closely in touch. "Call me if you find him. Maybe we can meet up again later."

Except that if Sam gets into Law School as planned, that is just never going to happen, and they both know it. Dean is on his own now, and Sam heads home to Jessica and their cosy 'apple-pie' life, and although he looks a little wistful watching his brother drive away alone, his relief at being out of it is palpable.

But that cosy apple-pie life of his no longer exists. Jess has made cookies to welcome him home, and the shower is running as he heads for the bedroom, but he's no sooner laid down on the bed than Jessica's blood starts to drip onto his face, and the awful truth is revealed as he opens his eyes to see her pinned to the ceiling, her body bursting into flames...

Jessica being killed by the same demon that killed Mary, in exactly the same way, is very clearly no coincidence. Sam might long for a normal life, but this is the second time a woman close to him has been killed in this way, in his bedroom, their blood dripping onto him, and being targeted in this way means he can never be free of that other life he wants out of so badly. Not until the reasons behind it are resolved.

It's also the second time Dean has pulled Sam out of a burning house, and I really wish they'd left in the scene of Dean in the car getting EVP and realising something is up, because without it his return feels really random – the audience needed to know why he went back.

So, Sam's normal life is gone, and while the fire trucks douse the flames, he's busily fiddling with the weapons stashed in the trunk of Dean's car, and Dean eyes him worriedly, clearly not having a clue what to say, and Sam looks back at him, and there's a whole conversation going on there without a word spoken. "We got work to do," says Sam. That mission of John's that he argued against so vehemently earlier is now Sam's mission also, and the road beckons.