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llywelaDecided to throw up the second of these Musketeers recaps I did, before Life came crashing back down once more - there are two more after this, maybe some day I'll manage the rest, as well...or I might go back to the stalled Doctor Who reviews, now that Power of the Daleks is out on DVD as an animation, since it was the frankly impenetrable recon of that serial which stopped the project dead in its tracks! But for now, The Musketeers 1x02:
"The secret to a good trick? Make people look the wrong way."
In the woods
Episode two opens on a bright, cold day with snow on the ground, the three Inseparables hanging around on a muddy track in the middle of nowhere with young d'Artagnan. I'm fairly certain this track is another location we will see many times over the course of the show.
Another man approaches, sword in hand, and we say hello to Roman Spáčil, a professional swordsman who worked behind the scenes on the show for all three seasons, training the actors and choreographing fight scenes. We will see him again, many times, in fight scenes such as this where a Random Extra Swordsman is called for.
There's a definite air of the Wild West about this set-up, deliberately so, not exactly pistols at dawn, but definitely swords drawn at dawn, with d'Artagnan the man of the moment, limbering up ready to fight, Porthos and Aramis egging him on. We're given no explanation (yet) as to why any of this is happening, but the interactions here follow on from the first episode, in which we saw Aramis and Porthos functioning seamlessly as a double act in both work and play, and d'Artagnan tagging along with them, with Athos more aloof, on the side-lines for much of the episode and thus excluded from their bonding.
The very first words exchanged remind us that these are not quite the traditional Musketeers of legend.
ARAMIS: What's the vital thing to remember in a duel?
D'ARTAGNAN: Honour?
[Porthos smacks him upside the head]
PORTHOS: Not getting killed, right? Biting, kicking, gouging – it's all good.
D'ARTAGNAN: I was raised to fight like a gentleman.
ARAMIS: Were you raised to die young?
And it really isn't clear how much the two musketeers are serious about this, and how much is just winding up the newbie, experienced veterans to his idealistic youth as they are. Probably about fifty-fifty!
Athos interrupts at this juncture to tell d'Artagnan that this is Musketeer business and he doesn't have to do it, d'Artagnan insists he can handle it, and I remember that this is the first conversation we have seen them share since d'Artagnan accused Athos of murdering his dad. Their relationship has moved forward, clearly, Athos joining with Aramis and Porthos in welcoming the newcomer into the fold of their friendship. But what it is that d'Artagnan is so sure he can handle? How much time has passed since the last episode? What has brought about this duel? If it's Musketeer business, why is d'Artagnan involved? Has he made a formal request to join the Musketeers? If not, why is he still in Paris? What are his plans, going forward? Doesn't he have a home back in Gascony left in disarray by the death of his father, in need of the son and heir to return and take up the reins? Or is he not the oldest son? Is there someone else who can take over in his absence? Or does he intend to sell up, but can't be bothered actually going there to oversee the sale? Does he have any family back home wondering why he hasn't returned to grieve with them? Did he ever get around to petitioning the King about those ruinously high taxes that were his entire reason for travelling to Paris in the first place...or was that just his dad's hobby horse, with d'Artagnan dragged along for the trip in hopes of it keeping him out of trouble? Aren't there people back in Gascony awaiting the outcome of that petition, since it was being made on their behalf? So many questions – and only some of them will ever be answered!
Show has many strengths, but filling in the gaps is not one of them.
The fight begins, d'Artagnan's unnamed opponent choosing not to wait for the signal to be given, so we know he's a Bad Guy of some kind and therefore needn't give him a second thought. He fights dirty, so d'Artagnan eventually gives up on being a gentleman and retaliates in kind with a kick to the genitals.
PORTHOS [proud]: I taught him that move.
Okay, so enough time has passed for d'Artagnan to have done at least a bit of training with the Musketeers, yet his status with them really isn't clear. Is he an official cadet at this stage, trying to earn a place in the regiment? Or is he just hanging out with them for fun, because they've made friends, but without any official status? What gives? The original novel is a little clearer on this point: there we learn that d'Artagnan wants to join the Musketeers but won't qualify until he's gained experience in another regiment, so he joins another regiment as instructed but then hangs out with the Musketeers as often as he can because he's been absorbed into the closed unit that is the Inseparables and wants to be with his friends whenever possible, Treville allowing this because he likes d'Artagnan and regrets being unable to give him his commission straight off the bat. Then again, in the original novel d'Artagnan goes to Paris in the first place not to petition the King over taxes, but specifically to join the Musketeers, because his father is broke and sends him off to seek his fortune as a soldier, so his goals are more clear-cut from the start. Here, by way of contrast, it's all a bit woolly, and we are left to wonder.
This is the first time we've got to see d'Artagnan fight when he wasn't fuelled by rage and grief, and his style is a lot more polished when it isn't overwhelmed by emotion, even I can see that. Watching him fight, Porthos beams with pride, Aramis smirks, and Athos frets. That's the three Inseparables in a nutshell.
Then, just as d'Artagnan succeeds in disarming his opponent, disaster strikes: a squad of Red Guard approaching on horseback to break up the fight. Duelling is illegal…not that that stopped anyone back in episode one, in which Porthos fought a duel, with a fork, and d'Artagnan agreed to one and then didn't go through with it only because his would-be opponent got himself murdered. Still, fighting an illicit duel on the down-low is one thing, being caught red-handed by the guard is another entirely.
Everyone scatters – but d'Artagnan stops to reclaim his dagger, and having thus slowed himself down doesn't have time to escape, quickly finding himself surrounded by mounted guards, who knock him to the ground (although if you look really closely, you can see that it's a stuntman rather than Luke Pasqualino who gets knocked down!). Watching from a safe distance, the Inseparables…simply shrug it all off.
ATHOS: Nothing more we can do for him.
PORTHOS: No point all of us getting arrested.
ARAMIS: He knows the Musketeer motto: 'Every man for himself!'
That's not any Musketeer motto any viewer will have heard! And with that, d'Artagnan is arrested for illegal duelling, while the Musketeers run off and leave him to his fate, which is the exact opposite of what we'd have expected from them, whether familiar with the source material or completely new to this universe…
But does anyone actually fall for it? Does anyone really believe Our Heroes, who went to such great lengths to save Athos in episode one, are such craven cowards as to abandon their young friend to his fate? Oh come on, we all realise at once that there is more going on here than meets the eye.
ROLL CREDITS
Chatelet Prison
Episode one saw Athos incarcerated at the Chatelet Prison. Now it is d'Artagnan's turn to be hauled through those gloomy passageways and locked up in a grimy cell. But at least Athos got a room to himself. D'Artagnan has to share, with a crook named Vadim.
Musketeer Garrison
The Inseparables stand to attention, straight-backed and uncomfortable, as Captain Treville reams them out in front of the entire regiment for leading d'Artagnan into trouble and then abandoning him. Why is he so concerned? I mean, aside from the question of honour, which I guess is reason enough in itself, since the good standing and reputation of his regiment is very important to him, but that aside, d'Artagnan isn't actually anything to do with him as things stand. In the original novel, Treville is an old friend of d'Artagnan's dad, but that isn't the case here, and they didn't so much as exchange two words in episode one. So far as we've been told up till now, d'Artagnan is nothing to do with the Musketeers; he's simply a visitor to Paris who was a key witness on a particular case and was befriended by a couple of musketeers along the way. I feel we've missed a few keys steps from there to here.
Anyway, Treville spends some time bellowing at Porthos, Athos and Aramis in front of their musketeer comrades, who are suitably disgusted with them for corrupting an impressionable youth and then abandoning him to his fate. Athos just takes it, silent and stoic, but both Aramis and Porthos seem very uncomfortable with the damage done to their good names.
ARAMIS: I don't like this. I've never been unpopular before.
PORTHOS: Try trading places with me.
ARAMIS: But you're used to it. I'm more the romantic hero type.
I'm interested in that throwaway little remark by Porthos there: Aramis might claim never have been unpopular before, but Porthos apparently has, and we are left to wonder what he means by that, what difficulties he might have faced in the past. We also see here that even in uncomfortable moments – perhaps especially in uncomfortable moments – Aramis can't resist teasing and joking…although he drops the attempt at humour at once and starts squirming again when Treville gets right in his face.
TREVILLE: D'Artagnan is in prison because of you. Alone, friendless, condemned. I hope you're very proud. Dismissed!
Treville's Office
Later, in the privacy of his office, the captain informs the Inseparables that d'Artagnan has been taken to the Chatelet and is awaiting execution at his Majesty's pleasure. That's a harsh punishment! But I suppose illegal duels probably did result in a lot of deaths, which would be classed as murder, so the punishment falls into that bracket. Plus, obviously, this is 17th century France and execution was the punishment for a heck of a lot of crimes we'd consider relatively minor today.
There is a long pause. Then:
TREVILLE: Congratulations. You almost had me convinced and I knew the whole thing was a charade.
And the other shoe drops. Yep, it's all a big ruse – they are even conning their fellow Musketeers, who, I've got to say, will probably be a bit miffed about having the wool pulled over their eyes when it all comes out in the wash. But if they deliberately provoked an actual duel, and deliberately got d'Artagnan arrested, that isn't a charade – the arresting officers were quite genuine, as were the prison guards, as is the arrest record and sentence passed, so how do they plan to get him out again later? Ask nicely and hope the king or judge or whoever believes them when they say it was a ruse and they didn't mean the duelling thing, really? It's a huge risk for d'Artagnan to take – no wonder Athos was worried!
ARAMIS: We certainly fooled the rest of the men. They hate us.
PORTHOS: They think we betrayed a friend. It makes me sick.
Poor Porthos, he's so loyal and upright and honest, the very idea of it is anathema to him, and the stain on his good name a deep affront. But, you know, they're all taking one for the team here, and none more so than d'Artagnan, who remains the focus of Athos's concern.
ATHOS: I still think one of us should have done it.
TREVILLE: Vadim would never trust a King's Musketeer. It had to be someone he didn't know.
ATHOS: He's a Gascon farm boy: promising, but raw. There's too much at stake.
This exchange, as well as enlightening us as to the status of d'Artagnan's family background, tells us that getting d'Artagnan into that cell with Vadim was the entire point of the exercise, but I have questions about this. I mean, how could they be certain he'd be placed in Vadim's cell? Surely the only way to guarantee it would be if the jailer was in on the ruse, and arranged it that way deliberately, but in that case, why go to the trouble of actually getting arrested in the first place? Why not just rock up to the prison covertly and have the jailer take him to the cell without the elaborate arrest set-up? Vadim isn't going to know whether a cellmate locked in with him was legitimately arrested or not, after all. But it seems they wanted the entire world to believe the arrest was genuine, not just Vadim, presumably in case Vadim has informants on the outside who could tip him off. That means that Treville and the three Inseparables are the only ones in on the plan, which means even the jailer doesn't know, which brings me back to my first questions: how could they guarantee getting him into the right cell, and, since the arrest was genuine, how can they guarantee getting his sentence repealed when this is all over?
I realise these details aren't important in the grand scheme of the episode, which I really enjoy, but I do wonder about these things!
Treville says that d'Artagnan has to prove himself sometime, and this is as good a time as any. Does that mean d'Artagnan has asked to join the Musketeers, but has to earn his place in the regiment first by proving himself worthy, which would at least give him a semi-logical reason for volunteering for this mission? Do all Musketeer recruits have to go through a similar initiation, and if so how many quests does it take, on average, before they are rewarded with a commission and actual salary? Or is it more that helping out on that last mission gave d'Artagnan a taste for it, so he volunteered for this just for the sheer hell of it, because he's an adrenaline junky with nothing better to do, with Treville simply taking advantage of the free labour on offer? How flexible is the regiment that outsiders can be involved in missions like this? Oh, Show, Show, I love you but I really wish you'd explain this stuff!
PORTHOS: Well, I think he can do it. And I'm a pretty good judge of character.
ARAMIS: You're a terrible judge of character, especially when you're sober.
Oh Porthos, so loyal – ooh, and he looks a little annoyed about his bestie Aramis teasing him there. Aramis can be a bit insensitive with his humour, and Porthos is not in a joking mood today, not when he just sacrificed his good character for the sake of an undercover sting operation!
TREVILLE: Vadim stole enough gunpowder to start a small war. Where is it? What was he planning? Where are his men? If d'Artagnan can bring us the answers, then his life is worth the risk.
So we now have our mission objective for the week, but damn, that's cold, and I'm wondering now if d'Artagnan truly understands that his life is being weighed in this manner. Treville is a soldier, a pragmatist, the lives of the men (and affiliated volunteers) under his command the resource with which he must achieve his objectives – and I return to my earlier observation that he has never actually interacted with d'Artagnan on-screen as of yet, so has no relationship with the youth to temper his pragmatism.
But there is a heart beneath that gruff exterior. We are given an actual date to ground the episode when Treville adds that as tomorrow is Good Friday, which in 1630 fell on 29 March (and marks the 5th anniversary of the Savoy massacre, incidentally, although we won't learn that for a couple of episodes yet), Queen Anne will be visiting the Chatelet to pardon a few prisoners, which she does every year. He has put the Inseparables on her guard detail, and tells them they can check on d'Artagnan while they are there.
Chatelet Prison
D'Artagnan is dozing, which seems an unusual way to go about his important undercover mission, but presumably he doesn't want to tip Vadim off by appearing too eager. He wakes to find Vadim watching him, idly flipping a coin. How he's managed to hang onto that in jail I can't imagine. The way the place is portrayed, I'd have expected the guards to thoroughly shake down every prisoner on arrival in order to 'confiscate' anything of value. Regardless, when Vadim sees that he has d'Artagnan's attention, he does an impromptu little sleight of hand trick to make the coin disappear, à la the episode title, I guess because Vadim is bored and a new cellmate is as much entertainment as he's had since he was banged up. D'Artagnan is intrigued and asks how he did it.
VADIM: The secret to a good trick? Make people look the wrong way.
And that statement, right there, is the key to the entire episode, if only d'Artagnan understood what he meant. Book!d'Artagnan would have got it, but Show!d'Artagnan isn't quite so canny. Then again, we can't really tell how much his naïve impressed kid routine here is feigned for Vadim's benefit and how much is for real.
Dinner arrives. D'Artagnan finds a dead mouse in his.
D'ARTAGNAN: Er, what's this?
JAILER: Mutton stew.
D'ARTAGNAN: No, mutton is the one that goes 'baa' and has wool on it.
JAILER: You can starve, for all I care, Musketeer!
Uh oh: the whole point of d'Artagnan taking this mission was that he isn't a musketeer and as such has a better chance of gaining Vadim's trust, so if he's already associated with them to the point where he is considered a musketeer just because he was arrested while duelling in their company, then maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all, because any hint of a link with the Musketeers should be enough to warn Vadim off, which means this is game over already. But this, it seems, was the reason for the public arrest, the reason the Inseparables have sacrificed their good names: to give d'Artagnan a plausible reason to turn on them, as the impressionable young wannabe they have betrayed. It's a dangerous game to play, as we will soon find out.
D'ARTAGNAN: I'm no musketeer. They betrayed me and I hate them for it.
Vadim does not seem convinced.
Musketeer Garrison
Bonacieux has come to show Treville some fabric samples for his new cape. Treville's custom must be important to him, I doubt he does house calls for all his clients. Hey, perhaps that's how Constance first met Athos! Constance is with her husband for this visit, after all, so previous business of this nature could well account for the slight acquaintance with Athos she talked about in the first episode, although since Aramis and Porthos didn't seem to have encountered her before and the three are usually together, perhaps not.
Treville isn't what you'd call overly concerned about the fabric samples, just nods and walks away, so Bonacieux pursues him upstairs to his office in order to talk about d'Artagnan.
BONACIEUX: I was not surprised to hear of d'Artagnan's arrest. Always struck me as the criminal type.
TREVILLE: Is that so?
BONACIEUX: Yes, I hope they hang him. Even though I myself will suffer for it. He still owes me a month's rent.
TREVILLE: Your self-sacrifice in the name of justice does you credit, Monsieur.
So this is the real reason for the house call: he is worried about being tainted by association with a supposed criminal and wants to both curry favour and take the opportunity to indulge in gossip – not that he gets anywhere with Treville, who is as snarky as everyone else on this show, with fabulously deadpan delivery and an impeccable poker face to boot!
Also, we hadn't previously been told that d'Artagnan was lodging at the Bonacieux house, and I wonder if his formally renting a room was a minor detail cut from the first episode for length, perhaps, or simply another detail skipped on the assumption we'd figure it out from context. Also, if he owes a month's rent…how long has he been in Paris now? If this is the end of March and he owes a month's rent, episode one must have taken place in February, presumably, unless Bonacieux has asked for the first month's rent up front but has not yet received it – enquiring minds would appreciate a clear timescale here!
While Bonacieux is toadying up to Treville, who shuts the door in his face, down in the yard, the Inseparables wander over to greet Constance, who is icily indignant on d'Artagnan's behalf, because, bless her, when Constance is in someone's corner, she's in it for keeps, and she has made d'Artagnan one of her own ever since he collapsed at her feet in episode one.
ARAMIS: A beautiful morning, Madame Bonacieux.
CONSTANCE: I doubt if it looks so good from inside the Chatelet prison.
ATHOS: You've heard about d'Artagnan?
PORTHOS: You know, these stories can be greatly exaggerated.
CONSTANCE: Really? I was told you led him into danger and then abandoned him.
PORTHOS: That one's about right.
CONSTANCE: He's your friend. What are you going to do about it?
ARAMIS: We've been getting along well, but I wouldn't say friends, exactly.
So where Porthos instinctively tries to play down the fake betrayal, because it is such anathema to who he is, Aramis instinctively tries to brush the whole thing off with ill-judged humour – earning himself a slap from Constance, who is outraged that d'Artagnan should have been betrayed by men he trusted.
Bonacieux returns to the yard just in time to see his wife assaulting a musketeer and is horrified, apologising for her behaviour as if she were a naughty child, which makes my blood boil. Probably in keeping with the times, but still, blood boiling, and we are neither expected nor intended to approve of this man or his treatment of his wife. But while Aramis may have many faults, he does have impeccable manners, when he chooses to employ them, and isn't about to let Constance get into trouble over her defence of d'Artagnan, so he is swift to assure the man that his wife's actions were justified, apologising to her with a courteous bow.
Bonacieux hurries a fuming Constance away before she can lose him any custom, because that's all he really cares about, while Aramis gazes after her admiringly.
ARAMIS: God, I love that in a woman.
PORTHOS: What? Passion?
ARAMIS: Violence.
Now, he says that, and it kind of ties in with what we saw of his relationship with Adele last episode, but it's worth pointing out that for the whole of the remainder of the show, the women we actually see him bonding with on-screen are almost universally gentle and sweet, as opposed to the forceful, passionate type he claims here to admire. The difference between the image he projects and the type he is truly attracted to, perhaps – or just the difference between the type he likes to fool around with and the type he is likely to form an emotional bond with. Also worth noting that for all he talks a big talk about liking Constance's feistiness, he never once actually flirts with her, even before she (spoiler alert) becomes involved with d'Artagnan – and we know it isn't her marriage vows holding him back. I don't think she's actually his type...or perhaps he simply realises from the start that he isn't hers!
Chatelet Prison – cell
It is now morning and d'Artagnan is persevering with Vadim, trying to get the man talking by asking how he was caught. Vadim carefully explains that he was caught 'in a delicate situation' with his mistress, after the man he'd trusted to keep watch fell asleep. D'Artagnan spots an opening and goes for it.
D'ARTAGNAN: Then you and I have something in common. We've both been let down. And we're both going to hang.
VADIM: Not me. I'm going to walk out of here in broad daylight. And not a soul will lift a finger to stop me.
With that, the man collapses to the floor, apparently suffering some kind of fit.
Now, d'Artagnan is proving to be a decent actor, giving a nicely understated performance…but Vadim is superb, giving a masterclass throughout. D'Artagnan yells for the jailer in panic.
Chatelet Prison – yard
Queen Anne is just arriving at the Chatelet with her retinue of Musketeers and various other attendants in tow. Does she ever get to go anywhere without a whole procession at her heel? I do not envy her. She lives in luxury, but her life is horribly constrained.
The governor of the prison comes to pay his obeisance to the Queen, reminding us in the process that she will be freeing a few 'fortunate souls' today, in case we missed that detail when Treville mentioned it earlier. Anne sweetly says that she wishes she could pardon them all, and she means it most sincerely, but the look on the governor's face clearly says that he thinks her naïve. Treville evidently thinks so too, as he kindly but gruffly suggests that her Majesty should not waste sympathy on those who do not deserve it, but Anne will not be swayed from her point.
ANNE: All men need hope, Captain. Without it, why should they lead a decent life?
And that, right there, was our first glimpse of the steel beneath that sweet, gentle exterior. Anne can be a fascinating character, because she comes across as so timid at first glance, placid and compliant, forced always to placate and appease her difficult husband, but beneath the surface lies a generous, compassionate heart and a stubborn streak a mile wide. She is sheltered and she is naïve, but there is nothing thoughtless or spontaneous about the charitable impulse she voices here, and she isn't just paying lip service; social reform is clearly something she has put thought into and has firmly held opinions about, her inability to do more to help something she genuinely regrets.
The batch of fortunate souls chosen for the royal pardon are led out into the yard, and the Queen is distressed by the condition they are in, empathetic soul that she is.
Chatelet Prison – cells
A guard has heard d'Artagnan's cry for help, but is sceptical about the supposed medical emergency. He helpfully opens the cell door and steps inside to take a look anyway, though, pushing d'Artagnan aside with a hefty club in case he tries anything.
Alas for him, all his scepticism and precautions get him precisely nowhere, as he is distracted by the coin Vadim dropped, turns his back on the supposedly sick man to gloat over it – and of course Vadim is faking it, has already lifted the keys off him while his attention was elsewhere, and takes him down with one heavy punch.
Chatelet Prison – yard
Queen Anne makes a speech to the ragtag gang of prisoners selected for early release, in which she gives credit to the King and to God. I have no doubt whatsoever that this was her idea, not the King's, but I suppose she needs his authority to actually go through with it, which is why he gets credit. Also, I guess, the Queen seems to understand PR and the value of presenting a united front, even if the King doesn't.
She steps forward to gift each released prisoner with a small purse to help get back on their feet, which is a nice touch,
Chatelet Prison – cells
Vadim is on the point of locking d'Artagnan in with the unconscious jailer, much to his alarm, since he can't carry out his Top Secret Mission if Vadim escapes without him.
D'ARTAGNAN: You still have to get past the guards. Take me with you, Vadim. Don't leave me here. I can help you.
Vadim stops, thinks…and abruptly changes his mind, unlocking d'Artagnan's ankle chain to set him free. As they hurry away, other prisoners also begin to cry out for release, and while I'm still wondering just how Vadim scored that cushy semi-private cell, given the over-crowding in evidence everywhere else, Vadim himself is busy tossing d'Artagnan the keys with instructions to let everyone out.
Releasing d'Artagnan seems like an act of trust, and releasing the other prisoners seems like an act of mercy. In fact, everything Vadim does is designed to serve his own interests and nothing else. But hey, fortunate for him that he was given a cellmate just in time for him to enact his plan! He'd have had a harder time getting the attention of the guard if he was still alone in his cell.
Chatelet Prison – yard
Treville quietly nods at Athos, who takes his cue to go check on d'Artagnan while everyone else is otherwise occupied. The Queen, meanwhile, is beatific with joy at having done something good for her fellow man
ANNE: Did you see the gratitude on their faces, Captain? Mercy is more effective than any whip or gallows.
TREVILLE: The worst offenders would only consider Your Majesty's gentle nature a weakness. Some men are just born bad.
I do love about Treville that he has no problem speaking his mind, even to the king and queen.
Chatelet Prison – cells
As if to prove Treville's point, at that very moment Vadim is charging at the wholly unprepared guards at the head of a mob, having decided that full scale prison riot is his best chance of making it out to freedom – hence why he released all the other prisoners, so that the guards would focus on them and not him! D'Artagnan is at his back, fighting gamely and trying his best not to actually hurt anyone.
Athos is given entry at a side door just in time to see the frenzied horde stampeding toward him. Excellent timing, Athos.
As the guard in front of him gamely tries to fight back the mob, Athos looks over his head to meet the eyes of d'Artagnan, who is following Vadim in another direction entirely – a tiny moment of acknowledgement before Athos retreats to the yard to sound the alarm.
Chatelet Prison – yard
All hell breaks loose, as the Queen's retinue are completely taken by surprise by the breakout and scramble to protect her.
Big action sequence, lots of shooting and punching and general mayhem and violence, Our Heroes in the thick of it.
There are only four musketeers in the Queen's guard for the day, including Treville, but there seem to be plenty of Red Guard on duty, and we are reminded of their general antagonist status when Aramis has to stop one from firing blindly into a group of escaping prisoners that Athos is fighting in the middle of, because the Red Guard don't care if they kill a musketeer with friendly fire, and the musketeers know it!
Aramis then lines up a shot himself, because Athos needs help and Aramis trusts his own marksmanship far more than that of the Red Guard. He has to fend off a couple of escaping prisoners first, but finally manages to take down at least one of the men menacing Athos, who now manages to beat back the remaining two and make good his retreat.
Chatelet Prison – cells
Vadim and d'Artagnan are taking full advantage of the general chaos to make their way out of the prison by another route, which is totally unguarded because everyone is busy with the mass breakout. Whichever route they take, they have to pass through that courtyard, however, and eventually find their way out through a side door, unseen, before pausing to check the lie of the land.
Chatelet Prison – yard
The lie of the land is general chaos – soldiers attempting to force the prisoners back, more soldiers holding a second line at the gate, Treville attempting to get the Queen to safety…but he takes his eye off her for just a few seconds, while he fights back prisoners breaking through the line, and those few seconds are all Vadim needs. Having taken a pistol from a guard, he leaps from cover and grabs the Queen, holding the pistol to her head.
VADIM: Stop, or your Queen dies!
Cue sudden horror on the part of every musketeer present, because, dammit, they had one job here, protect the Queen, and they were so busy protecting her from a spontaneous prison riot it never occurred to them that anything more pre-meditated might sneak up behind them.
I like how they all turn to watch what Vadim will do and the riot behind them just dies down at once, as if the escaping prisoners wouldn't just carry on pushing and fighting regardless, in reality!
So for a moment there's a standoff, Treville and his musketeers horrified, and d'Artagnan at Vadim's side, determinedly remaining in character but very tense – will he break his cover to save the Queen? If so, then what? They don't yet have the information they need.
Vadim yells for the gate to be opened, pressing the barrel of his gun into the Queen's head, and she is absolutely petrified, nothing in her sheltered life could have prepared her for this, her life at the mercy of a hardened criminal.
D'Artagnan is standing just behind Vadim. Treville meets his eyes and d'Artagnan nods for him to do as Vadim says. Now, this was not part of the plan – the plan was for d'Artagnan to sit in Vadim's prison cell and attempt to win his trust there, attempt to talk the necessary information out of him, but that's obviously not going to happen now, so he's telling Treville here to let Vadim go, that he'll stay with him and try to get the information they need on the outside. It's a risky plan, letting this dangerous criminal go, but with the Queen's life now at stake, what else can they do? Treville makes the decision to trust d'Artagnan and gives the order.
As the gates are opened, there's a whole gang of Vadim's men waiting outside to retrieve him, which…how? How did he plan this, how did he communicate with his men in order to coordinate? Are prisoners on death row allowed visitors in Show's reality? Because it doesn't seem likely from everything else we ever see in all three seasons!
We'll just go with it. Vadim's gang have come to collect him, having somehow managed to coordinate the escape despite his being locked up awaiting execution, and they seem to have quite a lot of men and quite a lot of weapons, which makes for quite a standoff.
D'ARTAGNAN: Hurt the Queen and we're all dead. You don't need her any more. Let's go. Come on!
It's a fine balance to try to strike, subtly defending the Queen while still appearing to be on Vadim's side. Vadim takes the point – and also takes the opportunity to creep on the Queen a little, yuck, even giving her a little kiss on the forehead before shoving her away and running for it.
All hell breaks loose for a second time, Queen Anne stumbling and reeling in shock while guns blaze all around her, and I've got to say, while I'm hardly surprised that the criminals would fire indiscriminately with the Queen standing right there in front of them, I'd have expected Treville to make sure she was well and truly out of the firing line before allowing his men to start shooting back, however anxious he is to apprehend the villains! Still, it's a plot device to facilitate a character moment, as Aramis dives forward to pull her to the ground and shield her with his body as the bullets fly all around.
The battle rages, d'Artagnan fighting in the thick of it until Vadim calls for him to come and mount a spare horse, much to the annoyance of the thug at his side. They make good their escape…just the three of them, riding to safety on the only three horses the criminal gang bothered to bring – completely abandoning all the other men who'd formed the rescue party. So much for loyalty among thieves! Who is Vadim that all those men were willing to lay down their lives for him?
Treville and Athos watch them go with the sourest of sour expressions.
TREVILLE: What in the name of God is he doing?
ATHOS: Do you still think d'Artagnan was the right man for the job?
Yep, all their planning just went flying out of the gate and all they can do is hope for the best and trust in d'Artagnan now!
On the ground, Aramis murmurs reassurance to the terrified Queen as the chaos slowly dies down around them. It's mostly meaningless noise, but he sounds very gentle and soothing and that's exactly what she needs, with her nerves all shot to hell…but then as Anne relaxes and allows herself to breathe again, and looks into his eyes and sees him properly for the first time, it's also a very intimate moment, and both characters are dangerously susceptible to that kind of thing. This is the start of a three-season storyline that will swallow both of them whole.
ARAMIS: Don't worry. It's fine. Look at me, look at me. It's over. I've got you.
ANNE: So you have.
Aramis suddenly realises the impropriety of their position, what with him lying on top of her and all, and hastily snaps out of caretaker mode and back into soldier mode, apologising as he helps her back to her feet, at which point she notices a bloody scrape on his neck and starts fussing over it. A bullet furrow, I guess, must have happened as he knocked her to the ground, which makes it a very near miss for the Queen herself. Aramis hadn't even noticed, it's such a minor injury, but just a fraction of an inch deeper could easily have been a very different story, and if he hadn't pushed her aside the bullet may well have struck her instead, which is why she's all a-flutter about him having been injured saving her life.
It's suddenly a very intimate moment all over again as she reaches out to touch the wound in concern and fascination. He is quick to push her hand away, because a) blood, and b) improper, but the eye contact lingers and so does the hand-holding, they are standing way too close, and the romance of the moment and the chemistry between the two is immediately obvious, inappropriate though it is for a guard to ogle his queen and a queen to ogle her guard!
Louvre Palace, Richelieu's Reception Chamber
And then it's later and we're at the Palace with Treville and Athos, paying our first visit to Cardinal Richelieu's reception room, which is bigger than my entire flat and has a fabulous ceiling and is marvellously minimalist.
RICHELIEU: My God, what is Vadim planning? War? Rebellion? I must know. Keep me informed of developments.
So here we learn that Richelieu is also in on the scheme for d'Artagnan to gain Vadim's trust. In fact, he's so anxious to learn what Vadim is planning that it seems likely it was he who gave the mission to the Musketeers in the first place, which leads me to wonder why he didn't entrust it to his own Red Guard. Could it be that he knows, deep down, that the Musketeers are a safer bet in these circumstances?
RICHELIEU: My men have orders to shoot Vadim on sight. If d'Artagnan is with him, he too is in grave danger. His life is in his own hands now.
Or, you know, he could warn his men not to harm d'Artagnan! But I guess this is the downside of Top Secret undercover missions: you can't let anyone know, which means you have to act as you normally would or risk raising suspicions, which can be awkward when things don't go as planned!
As the musketeers leave via one door, another opens and in steps Milady de Winter, twirling a posy of flowers in her hand. Forget-me-knots, of course. Having heard the entire conversation, she's of the opinion that d'Artagnan's death would be a waste.
RICHELIEU: I'm not here to indulge your romantic whims.
MILADY: Romance has nothing to do with it. I laid a perfect trap for him. He should be dead, he isn't. That makes him unique. I can do something with a man like that.
Personally, I'm not convinced that escaping Milady's trap can really be taken as proof that d'Artagnan is so very special. He was quick-thinking, sure, but it was mostly luck, speed, and then Constance that got him out of it.
RICHELIEU: Why should he still trust you?
MILADY: Because he's already half in love with me.
RICHELIEU: You left him with a bloody dagger in his hand, facing the noose. What kind of idiot would overlook that?
He makes a good point. Milady, however, is supremely confident in her powers of manipulation and seduction, and acts out a possible excuse she might use, all wide eyes and heaving breasts…
MILADY: Forgive me, d'Artagnan. The man was a beast, I stabbed him in self-defence and then I panicked. I never meant you to take the blame. I was in torment when I heard. You, who were so good to me, so loving, so kind. Let me make amends in any way you desire.
…and yes, it's easy to see how she could wriggle her way out of just about anything, given a gullible enough mark. Richelieu just sits there, eyes popping, well and truly reminded that he is a red-blooded male…and then she breaks the spell quite abruptly to remind him that it is just an act.
MILADY: Five years in your service and you still doubt me.
Milady is very good at what she does. Also, five years in the Cardinal's service gives us something of a timescale for her history with Athos, and thus also his career with the Musketeers. In episode one Milady told d'Artagnan that the man she loved tried to kill her, and Athos told a priest that the woman he loved died by his hand; two sides of the same story. We know that this happened before he joined the Musketeers, because Aramis and Porthos don't know any details of what happened, so if Milady has been with the Cardinal for five years, we can presume that Athos joined the Musketeers at about the same time, both of them fleeing the pain of their shared past. We already know that Aramis has been a soldier, if not a musketeer, for at least nine years, so that just leaves Porthos with a question mark over length of service. Was Athos perhaps the last of the three Inseparables to join up, with d'Artagnan now completing the boy band?
Richelieu pulls himself back together and tells her that d'Artagnan's fate is a matter of indifference to him. Her task is to find Vadim, because he doesn't trust the Musketeers as much as all that after all. She smiles and leaves, twirling her posy.
RICHELIEU: Are those flowers for me?
MILADY: No.
Heh.
Continued in Part Two
"The secret to a good trick? Make people look the wrong way."
In the woods
Episode two opens on a bright, cold day with snow on the ground, the three Inseparables hanging around on a muddy track in the middle of nowhere with young d'Artagnan. I'm fairly certain this track is another location we will see many times over the course of the show.
Another man approaches, sword in hand, and we say hello to Roman Spáčil, a professional swordsman who worked behind the scenes on the show for all three seasons, training the actors and choreographing fight scenes. We will see him again, many times, in fight scenes such as this where a Random Extra Swordsman is called for.
There's a definite air of the Wild West about this set-up, deliberately so, not exactly pistols at dawn, but definitely swords drawn at dawn, with d'Artagnan the man of the moment, limbering up ready to fight, Porthos and Aramis egging him on. We're given no explanation (yet) as to why any of this is happening, but the interactions here follow on from the first episode, in which we saw Aramis and Porthos functioning seamlessly as a double act in both work and play, and d'Artagnan tagging along with them, with Athos more aloof, on the side-lines for much of the episode and thus excluded from their bonding.
The very first words exchanged remind us that these are not quite the traditional Musketeers of legend.
ARAMIS: What's the vital thing to remember in a duel?
D'ARTAGNAN: Honour?
[Porthos smacks him upside the head]
PORTHOS: Not getting killed, right? Biting, kicking, gouging – it's all good.
D'ARTAGNAN: I was raised to fight like a gentleman.
ARAMIS: Were you raised to die young?
And it really isn't clear how much the two musketeers are serious about this, and how much is just winding up the newbie, experienced veterans to his idealistic youth as they are. Probably about fifty-fifty!
Athos interrupts at this juncture to tell d'Artagnan that this is Musketeer business and he doesn't have to do it, d'Artagnan insists he can handle it, and I remember that this is the first conversation we have seen them share since d'Artagnan accused Athos of murdering his dad. Their relationship has moved forward, clearly, Athos joining with Aramis and Porthos in welcoming the newcomer into the fold of their friendship. But what it is that d'Artagnan is so sure he can handle? How much time has passed since the last episode? What has brought about this duel? If it's Musketeer business, why is d'Artagnan involved? Has he made a formal request to join the Musketeers? If not, why is he still in Paris? What are his plans, going forward? Doesn't he have a home back in Gascony left in disarray by the death of his father, in need of the son and heir to return and take up the reins? Or is he not the oldest son? Is there someone else who can take over in his absence? Or does he intend to sell up, but can't be bothered actually going there to oversee the sale? Does he have any family back home wondering why he hasn't returned to grieve with them? Did he ever get around to petitioning the King about those ruinously high taxes that were his entire reason for travelling to Paris in the first place...or was that just his dad's hobby horse, with d'Artagnan dragged along for the trip in hopes of it keeping him out of trouble? Aren't there people back in Gascony awaiting the outcome of that petition, since it was being made on their behalf? So many questions – and only some of them will ever be answered!
Show has many strengths, but filling in the gaps is not one of them.
The fight begins, d'Artagnan's unnamed opponent choosing not to wait for the signal to be given, so we know he's a Bad Guy of some kind and therefore needn't give him a second thought. He fights dirty, so d'Artagnan eventually gives up on being a gentleman and retaliates in kind with a kick to the genitals.
PORTHOS [proud]: I taught him that move.
Okay, so enough time has passed for d'Artagnan to have done at least a bit of training with the Musketeers, yet his status with them really isn't clear. Is he an official cadet at this stage, trying to earn a place in the regiment? Or is he just hanging out with them for fun, because they've made friends, but without any official status? What gives? The original novel is a little clearer on this point: there we learn that d'Artagnan wants to join the Musketeers but won't qualify until he's gained experience in another regiment, so he joins another regiment as instructed but then hangs out with the Musketeers as often as he can because he's been absorbed into the closed unit that is the Inseparables and wants to be with his friends whenever possible, Treville allowing this because he likes d'Artagnan and regrets being unable to give him his commission straight off the bat. Then again, in the original novel d'Artagnan goes to Paris in the first place not to petition the King over taxes, but specifically to join the Musketeers, because his father is broke and sends him off to seek his fortune as a soldier, so his goals are more clear-cut from the start. Here, by way of contrast, it's all a bit woolly, and we are left to wonder.
This is the first time we've got to see d'Artagnan fight when he wasn't fuelled by rage and grief, and his style is a lot more polished when it isn't overwhelmed by emotion, even I can see that. Watching him fight, Porthos beams with pride, Aramis smirks, and Athos frets. That's the three Inseparables in a nutshell.
Then, just as d'Artagnan succeeds in disarming his opponent, disaster strikes: a squad of Red Guard approaching on horseback to break up the fight. Duelling is illegal…not that that stopped anyone back in episode one, in which Porthos fought a duel, with a fork, and d'Artagnan agreed to one and then didn't go through with it only because his would-be opponent got himself murdered. Still, fighting an illicit duel on the down-low is one thing, being caught red-handed by the guard is another entirely.
Everyone scatters – but d'Artagnan stops to reclaim his dagger, and having thus slowed himself down doesn't have time to escape, quickly finding himself surrounded by mounted guards, who knock him to the ground (although if you look really closely, you can see that it's a stuntman rather than Luke Pasqualino who gets knocked down!). Watching from a safe distance, the Inseparables…simply shrug it all off.
ATHOS: Nothing more we can do for him.
PORTHOS: No point all of us getting arrested.
ARAMIS: He knows the Musketeer motto: 'Every man for himself!'
That's not any Musketeer motto any viewer will have heard! And with that, d'Artagnan is arrested for illegal duelling, while the Musketeers run off and leave him to his fate, which is the exact opposite of what we'd have expected from them, whether familiar with the source material or completely new to this universe…
But does anyone actually fall for it? Does anyone really believe Our Heroes, who went to such great lengths to save Athos in episode one, are such craven cowards as to abandon their young friend to his fate? Oh come on, we all realise at once that there is more going on here than meets the eye.
Chatelet Prison
Episode one saw Athos incarcerated at the Chatelet Prison. Now it is d'Artagnan's turn to be hauled through those gloomy passageways and locked up in a grimy cell. But at least Athos got a room to himself. D'Artagnan has to share, with a crook named Vadim.
Musketeer Garrison
The Inseparables stand to attention, straight-backed and uncomfortable, as Captain Treville reams them out in front of the entire regiment for leading d'Artagnan into trouble and then abandoning him. Why is he so concerned? I mean, aside from the question of honour, which I guess is reason enough in itself, since the good standing and reputation of his regiment is very important to him, but that aside, d'Artagnan isn't actually anything to do with him as things stand. In the original novel, Treville is an old friend of d'Artagnan's dad, but that isn't the case here, and they didn't so much as exchange two words in episode one. So far as we've been told up till now, d'Artagnan is nothing to do with the Musketeers; he's simply a visitor to Paris who was a key witness on a particular case and was befriended by a couple of musketeers along the way. I feel we've missed a few keys steps from there to here.
Anyway, Treville spends some time bellowing at Porthos, Athos and Aramis in front of their musketeer comrades, who are suitably disgusted with them for corrupting an impressionable youth and then abandoning him to his fate. Athos just takes it, silent and stoic, but both Aramis and Porthos seem very uncomfortable with the damage done to their good names.
ARAMIS: I don't like this. I've never been unpopular before.
PORTHOS: Try trading places with me.
ARAMIS: But you're used to it. I'm more the romantic hero type.
I'm interested in that throwaway little remark by Porthos there: Aramis might claim never have been unpopular before, but Porthos apparently has, and we are left to wonder what he means by that, what difficulties he might have faced in the past. We also see here that even in uncomfortable moments – perhaps especially in uncomfortable moments – Aramis can't resist teasing and joking…although he drops the attempt at humour at once and starts squirming again when Treville gets right in his face.
TREVILLE: D'Artagnan is in prison because of you. Alone, friendless, condemned. I hope you're very proud. Dismissed!
Treville's Office
Later, in the privacy of his office, the captain informs the Inseparables that d'Artagnan has been taken to the Chatelet and is awaiting execution at his Majesty's pleasure. That's a harsh punishment! But I suppose illegal duels probably did result in a lot of deaths, which would be classed as murder, so the punishment falls into that bracket. Plus, obviously, this is 17th century France and execution was the punishment for a heck of a lot of crimes we'd consider relatively minor today.
There is a long pause. Then:
TREVILLE: Congratulations. You almost had me convinced and I knew the whole thing was a charade.
And the other shoe drops. Yep, it's all a big ruse – they are even conning their fellow Musketeers, who, I've got to say, will probably be a bit miffed about having the wool pulled over their eyes when it all comes out in the wash. But if they deliberately provoked an actual duel, and deliberately got d'Artagnan arrested, that isn't a charade – the arresting officers were quite genuine, as were the prison guards, as is the arrest record and sentence passed, so how do they plan to get him out again later? Ask nicely and hope the king or judge or whoever believes them when they say it was a ruse and they didn't mean the duelling thing, really? It's a huge risk for d'Artagnan to take – no wonder Athos was worried!
ARAMIS: We certainly fooled the rest of the men. They hate us.
PORTHOS: They think we betrayed a friend. It makes me sick.
Poor Porthos, he's so loyal and upright and honest, the very idea of it is anathema to him, and the stain on his good name a deep affront. But, you know, they're all taking one for the team here, and none more so than d'Artagnan, who remains the focus of Athos's concern.
ATHOS: I still think one of us should have done it.
TREVILLE: Vadim would never trust a King's Musketeer. It had to be someone he didn't know.
ATHOS: He's a Gascon farm boy: promising, but raw. There's too much at stake.
This exchange, as well as enlightening us as to the status of d'Artagnan's family background, tells us that getting d'Artagnan into that cell with Vadim was the entire point of the exercise, but I have questions about this. I mean, how could they be certain he'd be placed in Vadim's cell? Surely the only way to guarantee it would be if the jailer was in on the ruse, and arranged it that way deliberately, but in that case, why go to the trouble of actually getting arrested in the first place? Why not just rock up to the prison covertly and have the jailer take him to the cell without the elaborate arrest set-up? Vadim isn't going to know whether a cellmate locked in with him was legitimately arrested or not, after all. But it seems they wanted the entire world to believe the arrest was genuine, not just Vadim, presumably in case Vadim has informants on the outside who could tip him off. That means that Treville and the three Inseparables are the only ones in on the plan, which means even the jailer doesn't know, which brings me back to my first questions: how could they guarantee getting him into the right cell, and, since the arrest was genuine, how can they guarantee getting his sentence repealed when this is all over?
I realise these details aren't important in the grand scheme of the episode, which I really enjoy, but I do wonder about these things!
Treville says that d'Artagnan has to prove himself sometime, and this is as good a time as any. Does that mean d'Artagnan has asked to join the Musketeers, but has to earn his place in the regiment first by proving himself worthy, which would at least give him a semi-logical reason for volunteering for this mission? Do all Musketeer recruits have to go through a similar initiation, and if so how many quests does it take, on average, before they are rewarded with a commission and actual salary? Or is it more that helping out on that last mission gave d'Artagnan a taste for it, so he volunteered for this just for the sheer hell of it, because he's an adrenaline junky with nothing better to do, with Treville simply taking advantage of the free labour on offer? How flexible is the regiment that outsiders can be involved in missions like this? Oh, Show, Show, I love you but I really wish you'd explain this stuff!
PORTHOS: Well, I think he can do it. And I'm a pretty good judge of character.
ARAMIS: You're a terrible judge of character, especially when you're sober.
Oh Porthos, so loyal – ooh, and he looks a little annoyed about his bestie Aramis teasing him there. Aramis can be a bit insensitive with his humour, and Porthos is not in a joking mood today, not when he just sacrificed his good character for the sake of an undercover sting operation!
TREVILLE: Vadim stole enough gunpowder to start a small war. Where is it? What was he planning? Where are his men? If d'Artagnan can bring us the answers, then his life is worth the risk.
So we now have our mission objective for the week, but damn, that's cold, and I'm wondering now if d'Artagnan truly understands that his life is being weighed in this manner. Treville is a soldier, a pragmatist, the lives of the men (and affiliated volunteers) under his command the resource with which he must achieve his objectives – and I return to my earlier observation that he has never actually interacted with d'Artagnan on-screen as of yet, so has no relationship with the youth to temper his pragmatism.
But there is a heart beneath that gruff exterior. We are given an actual date to ground the episode when Treville adds that as tomorrow is Good Friday, which in 1630 fell on 29 March (and marks the 5th anniversary of the Savoy massacre, incidentally, although we won't learn that for a couple of episodes yet), Queen Anne will be visiting the Chatelet to pardon a few prisoners, which she does every year. He has put the Inseparables on her guard detail, and tells them they can check on d'Artagnan while they are there.
Chatelet Prison
D'Artagnan is dozing, which seems an unusual way to go about his important undercover mission, but presumably he doesn't want to tip Vadim off by appearing too eager. He wakes to find Vadim watching him, idly flipping a coin. How he's managed to hang onto that in jail I can't imagine. The way the place is portrayed, I'd have expected the guards to thoroughly shake down every prisoner on arrival in order to 'confiscate' anything of value. Regardless, when Vadim sees that he has d'Artagnan's attention, he does an impromptu little sleight of hand trick to make the coin disappear, à la the episode title, I guess because Vadim is bored and a new cellmate is as much entertainment as he's had since he was banged up. D'Artagnan is intrigued and asks how he did it.
VADIM: The secret to a good trick? Make people look the wrong way.
And that statement, right there, is the key to the entire episode, if only d'Artagnan understood what he meant. Book!d'Artagnan would have got it, but Show!d'Artagnan isn't quite so canny. Then again, we can't really tell how much his naïve impressed kid routine here is feigned for Vadim's benefit and how much is for real.
Dinner arrives. D'Artagnan finds a dead mouse in his.
D'ARTAGNAN: Er, what's this?
JAILER: Mutton stew.
D'ARTAGNAN: No, mutton is the one that goes 'baa' and has wool on it.
JAILER: You can starve, for all I care, Musketeer!
Uh oh: the whole point of d'Artagnan taking this mission was that he isn't a musketeer and as such has a better chance of gaining Vadim's trust, so if he's already associated with them to the point where he is considered a musketeer just because he was arrested while duelling in their company, then maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all, because any hint of a link with the Musketeers should be enough to warn Vadim off, which means this is game over already. But this, it seems, was the reason for the public arrest, the reason the Inseparables have sacrificed their good names: to give d'Artagnan a plausible reason to turn on them, as the impressionable young wannabe they have betrayed. It's a dangerous game to play, as we will soon find out.
D'ARTAGNAN: I'm no musketeer. They betrayed me and I hate them for it.
Vadim does not seem convinced.
Musketeer Garrison
Bonacieux has come to show Treville some fabric samples for his new cape. Treville's custom must be important to him, I doubt he does house calls for all his clients. Hey, perhaps that's how Constance first met Athos! Constance is with her husband for this visit, after all, so previous business of this nature could well account for the slight acquaintance with Athos she talked about in the first episode, although since Aramis and Porthos didn't seem to have encountered her before and the three are usually together, perhaps not.
Treville isn't what you'd call overly concerned about the fabric samples, just nods and walks away, so Bonacieux pursues him upstairs to his office in order to talk about d'Artagnan.
BONACIEUX: I was not surprised to hear of d'Artagnan's arrest. Always struck me as the criminal type.
TREVILLE: Is that so?
BONACIEUX: Yes, I hope they hang him. Even though I myself will suffer for it. He still owes me a month's rent.
TREVILLE: Your self-sacrifice in the name of justice does you credit, Monsieur.
So this is the real reason for the house call: he is worried about being tainted by association with a supposed criminal and wants to both curry favour and take the opportunity to indulge in gossip – not that he gets anywhere with Treville, who is as snarky as everyone else on this show, with fabulously deadpan delivery and an impeccable poker face to boot!
Also, we hadn't previously been told that d'Artagnan was lodging at the Bonacieux house, and I wonder if his formally renting a room was a minor detail cut from the first episode for length, perhaps, or simply another detail skipped on the assumption we'd figure it out from context. Also, if he owes a month's rent…how long has he been in Paris now? If this is the end of March and he owes a month's rent, episode one must have taken place in February, presumably, unless Bonacieux has asked for the first month's rent up front but has not yet received it – enquiring minds would appreciate a clear timescale here!
While Bonacieux is toadying up to Treville, who shuts the door in his face, down in the yard, the Inseparables wander over to greet Constance, who is icily indignant on d'Artagnan's behalf, because, bless her, when Constance is in someone's corner, she's in it for keeps, and she has made d'Artagnan one of her own ever since he collapsed at her feet in episode one.
ARAMIS: A beautiful morning, Madame Bonacieux.
CONSTANCE: I doubt if it looks so good from inside the Chatelet prison.
ATHOS: You've heard about d'Artagnan?
PORTHOS: You know, these stories can be greatly exaggerated.
CONSTANCE: Really? I was told you led him into danger and then abandoned him.
PORTHOS: That one's about right.
CONSTANCE: He's your friend. What are you going to do about it?
ARAMIS: We've been getting along well, but I wouldn't say friends, exactly.
So where Porthos instinctively tries to play down the fake betrayal, because it is such anathema to who he is, Aramis instinctively tries to brush the whole thing off with ill-judged humour – earning himself a slap from Constance, who is outraged that d'Artagnan should have been betrayed by men he trusted.
Bonacieux returns to the yard just in time to see his wife assaulting a musketeer and is horrified, apologising for her behaviour as if she were a naughty child, which makes my blood boil. Probably in keeping with the times, but still, blood boiling, and we are neither expected nor intended to approve of this man or his treatment of his wife. But while Aramis may have many faults, he does have impeccable manners, when he chooses to employ them, and isn't about to let Constance get into trouble over her defence of d'Artagnan, so he is swift to assure the man that his wife's actions were justified, apologising to her with a courteous bow.
Bonacieux hurries a fuming Constance away before she can lose him any custom, because that's all he really cares about, while Aramis gazes after her admiringly.
ARAMIS: God, I love that in a woman.
PORTHOS: What? Passion?
ARAMIS: Violence.
Now, he says that, and it kind of ties in with what we saw of his relationship with Adele last episode, but it's worth pointing out that for the whole of the remainder of the show, the women we actually see him bonding with on-screen are almost universally gentle and sweet, as opposed to the forceful, passionate type he claims here to admire. The difference between the image he projects and the type he is truly attracted to, perhaps – or just the difference between the type he likes to fool around with and the type he is likely to form an emotional bond with. Also worth noting that for all he talks a big talk about liking Constance's feistiness, he never once actually flirts with her, even before she (spoiler alert) becomes involved with d'Artagnan – and we know it isn't her marriage vows holding him back. I don't think she's actually his type...or perhaps he simply realises from the start that he isn't hers!
Chatelet Prison – cell
It is now morning and d'Artagnan is persevering with Vadim, trying to get the man talking by asking how he was caught. Vadim carefully explains that he was caught 'in a delicate situation' with his mistress, after the man he'd trusted to keep watch fell asleep. D'Artagnan spots an opening and goes for it.
D'ARTAGNAN: Then you and I have something in common. We've both been let down. And we're both going to hang.
VADIM: Not me. I'm going to walk out of here in broad daylight. And not a soul will lift a finger to stop me.
With that, the man collapses to the floor, apparently suffering some kind of fit.
Now, d'Artagnan is proving to be a decent actor, giving a nicely understated performance…but Vadim is superb, giving a masterclass throughout. D'Artagnan yells for the jailer in panic.
Chatelet Prison – yard
Queen Anne is just arriving at the Chatelet with her retinue of Musketeers and various other attendants in tow. Does she ever get to go anywhere without a whole procession at her heel? I do not envy her. She lives in luxury, but her life is horribly constrained.
The governor of the prison comes to pay his obeisance to the Queen, reminding us in the process that she will be freeing a few 'fortunate souls' today, in case we missed that detail when Treville mentioned it earlier. Anne sweetly says that she wishes she could pardon them all, and she means it most sincerely, but the look on the governor's face clearly says that he thinks her naïve. Treville evidently thinks so too, as he kindly but gruffly suggests that her Majesty should not waste sympathy on those who do not deserve it, but Anne will not be swayed from her point.
ANNE: All men need hope, Captain. Without it, why should they lead a decent life?
And that, right there, was our first glimpse of the steel beneath that sweet, gentle exterior. Anne can be a fascinating character, because she comes across as so timid at first glance, placid and compliant, forced always to placate and appease her difficult husband, but beneath the surface lies a generous, compassionate heart and a stubborn streak a mile wide. She is sheltered and she is naïve, but there is nothing thoughtless or spontaneous about the charitable impulse she voices here, and she isn't just paying lip service; social reform is clearly something she has put thought into and has firmly held opinions about, her inability to do more to help something she genuinely regrets.
The batch of fortunate souls chosen for the royal pardon are led out into the yard, and the Queen is distressed by the condition they are in, empathetic soul that she is.
Chatelet Prison – cells
A guard has heard d'Artagnan's cry for help, but is sceptical about the supposed medical emergency. He helpfully opens the cell door and steps inside to take a look anyway, though, pushing d'Artagnan aside with a hefty club in case he tries anything.
Alas for him, all his scepticism and precautions get him precisely nowhere, as he is distracted by the coin Vadim dropped, turns his back on the supposedly sick man to gloat over it – and of course Vadim is faking it, has already lifted the keys off him while his attention was elsewhere, and takes him down with one heavy punch.
Chatelet Prison – yard
Queen Anne makes a speech to the ragtag gang of prisoners selected for early release, in which she gives credit to the King and to God. I have no doubt whatsoever that this was her idea, not the King's, but I suppose she needs his authority to actually go through with it, which is why he gets credit. Also, I guess, the Queen seems to understand PR and the value of presenting a united front, even if the King doesn't.
She steps forward to gift each released prisoner with a small purse to help get back on their feet, which is a nice touch,
Chatelet Prison – cells
Vadim is on the point of locking d'Artagnan in with the unconscious jailer, much to his alarm, since he can't carry out his Top Secret Mission if Vadim escapes without him.
D'ARTAGNAN: You still have to get past the guards. Take me with you, Vadim. Don't leave me here. I can help you.
Vadim stops, thinks…and abruptly changes his mind, unlocking d'Artagnan's ankle chain to set him free. As they hurry away, other prisoners also begin to cry out for release, and while I'm still wondering just how Vadim scored that cushy semi-private cell, given the over-crowding in evidence everywhere else, Vadim himself is busy tossing d'Artagnan the keys with instructions to let everyone out.
Releasing d'Artagnan seems like an act of trust, and releasing the other prisoners seems like an act of mercy. In fact, everything Vadim does is designed to serve his own interests and nothing else. But hey, fortunate for him that he was given a cellmate just in time for him to enact his plan! He'd have had a harder time getting the attention of the guard if he was still alone in his cell.
Chatelet Prison – yard
Treville quietly nods at Athos, who takes his cue to go check on d'Artagnan while everyone else is otherwise occupied. The Queen, meanwhile, is beatific with joy at having done something good for her fellow man
ANNE: Did you see the gratitude on their faces, Captain? Mercy is more effective than any whip or gallows.
TREVILLE: The worst offenders would only consider Your Majesty's gentle nature a weakness. Some men are just born bad.
I do love about Treville that he has no problem speaking his mind, even to the king and queen.
Chatelet Prison – cells
As if to prove Treville's point, at that very moment Vadim is charging at the wholly unprepared guards at the head of a mob, having decided that full scale prison riot is his best chance of making it out to freedom – hence why he released all the other prisoners, so that the guards would focus on them and not him! D'Artagnan is at his back, fighting gamely and trying his best not to actually hurt anyone.
Athos is given entry at a side door just in time to see the frenzied horde stampeding toward him. Excellent timing, Athos.
As the guard in front of him gamely tries to fight back the mob, Athos looks over his head to meet the eyes of d'Artagnan, who is following Vadim in another direction entirely – a tiny moment of acknowledgement before Athos retreats to the yard to sound the alarm.
Chatelet Prison – yard
All hell breaks loose, as the Queen's retinue are completely taken by surprise by the breakout and scramble to protect her.
Big action sequence, lots of shooting and punching and general mayhem and violence, Our Heroes in the thick of it.
There are only four musketeers in the Queen's guard for the day, including Treville, but there seem to be plenty of Red Guard on duty, and we are reminded of their general antagonist status when Aramis has to stop one from firing blindly into a group of escaping prisoners that Athos is fighting in the middle of, because the Red Guard don't care if they kill a musketeer with friendly fire, and the musketeers know it!
Aramis then lines up a shot himself, because Athos needs help and Aramis trusts his own marksmanship far more than that of the Red Guard. He has to fend off a couple of escaping prisoners first, but finally manages to take down at least one of the men menacing Athos, who now manages to beat back the remaining two and make good his retreat.
Chatelet Prison – cells
Vadim and d'Artagnan are taking full advantage of the general chaos to make their way out of the prison by another route, which is totally unguarded because everyone is busy with the mass breakout. Whichever route they take, they have to pass through that courtyard, however, and eventually find their way out through a side door, unseen, before pausing to check the lie of the land.
Chatelet Prison – yard
The lie of the land is general chaos – soldiers attempting to force the prisoners back, more soldiers holding a second line at the gate, Treville attempting to get the Queen to safety…but he takes his eye off her for just a few seconds, while he fights back prisoners breaking through the line, and those few seconds are all Vadim needs. Having taken a pistol from a guard, he leaps from cover and grabs the Queen, holding the pistol to her head.
VADIM: Stop, or your Queen dies!
Cue sudden horror on the part of every musketeer present, because, dammit, they had one job here, protect the Queen, and they were so busy protecting her from a spontaneous prison riot it never occurred to them that anything more pre-meditated might sneak up behind them.
I like how they all turn to watch what Vadim will do and the riot behind them just dies down at once, as if the escaping prisoners wouldn't just carry on pushing and fighting regardless, in reality!
So for a moment there's a standoff, Treville and his musketeers horrified, and d'Artagnan at Vadim's side, determinedly remaining in character but very tense – will he break his cover to save the Queen? If so, then what? They don't yet have the information they need.
Vadim yells for the gate to be opened, pressing the barrel of his gun into the Queen's head, and she is absolutely petrified, nothing in her sheltered life could have prepared her for this, her life at the mercy of a hardened criminal.
D'Artagnan is standing just behind Vadim. Treville meets his eyes and d'Artagnan nods for him to do as Vadim says. Now, this was not part of the plan – the plan was for d'Artagnan to sit in Vadim's prison cell and attempt to win his trust there, attempt to talk the necessary information out of him, but that's obviously not going to happen now, so he's telling Treville here to let Vadim go, that he'll stay with him and try to get the information they need on the outside. It's a risky plan, letting this dangerous criminal go, but with the Queen's life now at stake, what else can they do? Treville makes the decision to trust d'Artagnan and gives the order.
As the gates are opened, there's a whole gang of Vadim's men waiting outside to retrieve him, which…how? How did he plan this, how did he communicate with his men in order to coordinate? Are prisoners on death row allowed visitors in Show's reality? Because it doesn't seem likely from everything else we ever see in all three seasons!
We'll just go with it. Vadim's gang have come to collect him, having somehow managed to coordinate the escape despite his being locked up awaiting execution, and they seem to have quite a lot of men and quite a lot of weapons, which makes for quite a standoff.
D'ARTAGNAN: Hurt the Queen and we're all dead. You don't need her any more. Let's go. Come on!
It's a fine balance to try to strike, subtly defending the Queen while still appearing to be on Vadim's side. Vadim takes the point – and also takes the opportunity to creep on the Queen a little, yuck, even giving her a little kiss on the forehead before shoving her away and running for it.
All hell breaks loose for a second time, Queen Anne stumbling and reeling in shock while guns blaze all around her, and I've got to say, while I'm hardly surprised that the criminals would fire indiscriminately with the Queen standing right there in front of them, I'd have expected Treville to make sure she was well and truly out of the firing line before allowing his men to start shooting back, however anxious he is to apprehend the villains! Still, it's a plot device to facilitate a character moment, as Aramis dives forward to pull her to the ground and shield her with his body as the bullets fly all around.
The battle rages, d'Artagnan fighting in the thick of it until Vadim calls for him to come and mount a spare horse, much to the annoyance of the thug at his side. They make good their escape…just the three of them, riding to safety on the only three horses the criminal gang bothered to bring – completely abandoning all the other men who'd formed the rescue party. So much for loyalty among thieves! Who is Vadim that all those men were willing to lay down their lives for him?
Treville and Athos watch them go with the sourest of sour expressions.
TREVILLE: What in the name of God is he doing?
ATHOS: Do you still think d'Artagnan was the right man for the job?
Yep, all their planning just went flying out of the gate and all they can do is hope for the best and trust in d'Artagnan now!
On the ground, Aramis murmurs reassurance to the terrified Queen as the chaos slowly dies down around them. It's mostly meaningless noise, but he sounds very gentle and soothing and that's exactly what she needs, with her nerves all shot to hell…but then as Anne relaxes and allows herself to breathe again, and looks into his eyes and sees him properly for the first time, it's also a very intimate moment, and both characters are dangerously susceptible to that kind of thing. This is the start of a three-season storyline that will swallow both of them whole.
ARAMIS: Don't worry. It's fine. Look at me, look at me. It's over. I've got you.
ANNE: So you have.
Aramis suddenly realises the impropriety of their position, what with him lying on top of her and all, and hastily snaps out of caretaker mode and back into soldier mode, apologising as he helps her back to her feet, at which point she notices a bloody scrape on his neck and starts fussing over it. A bullet furrow, I guess, must have happened as he knocked her to the ground, which makes it a very near miss for the Queen herself. Aramis hadn't even noticed, it's such a minor injury, but just a fraction of an inch deeper could easily have been a very different story, and if he hadn't pushed her aside the bullet may well have struck her instead, which is why she's all a-flutter about him having been injured saving her life.
It's suddenly a very intimate moment all over again as she reaches out to touch the wound in concern and fascination. He is quick to push her hand away, because a) blood, and b) improper, but the eye contact lingers and so does the hand-holding, they are standing way too close, and the romance of the moment and the chemistry between the two is immediately obvious, inappropriate though it is for a guard to ogle his queen and a queen to ogle her guard!
Louvre Palace, Richelieu's Reception Chamber
And then it's later and we're at the Palace with Treville and Athos, paying our first visit to Cardinal Richelieu's reception room, which is bigger than my entire flat and has a fabulous ceiling and is marvellously minimalist.
RICHELIEU: My God, what is Vadim planning? War? Rebellion? I must know. Keep me informed of developments.
So here we learn that Richelieu is also in on the scheme for d'Artagnan to gain Vadim's trust. In fact, he's so anxious to learn what Vadim is planning that it seems likely it was he who gave the mission to the Musketeers in the first place, which leads me to wonder why he didn't entrust it to his own Red Guard. Could it be that he knows, deep down, that the Musketeers are a safer bet in these circumstances?
RICHELIEU: My men have orders to shoot Vadim on sight. If d'Artagnan is with him, he too is in grave danger. His life is in his own hands now.
Or, you know, he could warn his men not to harm d'Artagnan! But I guess this is the downside of Top Secret undercover missions: you can't let anyone know, which means you have to act as you normally would or risk raising suspicions, which can be awkward when things don't go as planned!
As the musketeers leave via one door, another opens and in steps Milady de Winter, twirling a posy of flowers in her hand. Forget-me-knots, of course. Having heard the entire conversation, she's of the opinion that d'Artagnan's death would be a waste.
RICHELIEU: I'm not here to indulge your romantic whims.
MILADY: Romance has nothing to do with it. I laid a perfect trap for him. He should be dead, he isn't. That makes him unique. I can do something with a man like that.
Personally, I'm not convinced that escaping Milady's trap can really be taken as proof that d'Artagnan is so very special. He was quick-thinking, sure, but it was mostly luck, speed, and then Constance that got him out of it.
RICHELIEU: Why should he still trust you?
MILADY: Because he's already half in love with me.
RICHELIEU: You left him with a bloody dagger in his hand, facing the noose. What kind of idiot would overlook that?
He makes a good point. Milady, however, is supremely confident in her powers of manipulation and seduction, and acts out a possible excuse she might use, all wide eyes and heaving breasts…
MILADY: Forgive me, d'Artagnan. The man was a beast, I stabbed him in self-defence and then I panicked. I never meant you to take the blame. I was in torment when I heard. You, who were so good to me, so loving, so kind. Let me make amends in any way you desire.
…and yes, it's easy to see how she could wriggle her way out of just about anything, given a gullible enough mark. Richelieu just sits there, eyes popping, well and truly reminded that he is a red-blooded male…and then she breaks the spell quite abruptly to remind him that it is just an act.
MILADY: Five years in your service and you still doubt me.
Milady is very good at what she does. Also, five years in the Cardinal's service gives us something of a timescale for her history with Athos, and thus also his career with the Musketeers. In episode one Milady told d'Artagnan that the man she loved tried to kill her, and Athos told a priest that the woman he loved died by his hand; two sides of the same story. We know that this happened before he joined the Musketeers, because Aramis and Porthos don't know any details of what happened, so if Milady has been with the Cardinal for five years, we can presume that Athos joined the Musketeers at about the same time, both of them fleeing the pain of their shared past. We already know that Aramis has been a soldier, if not a musketeer, for at least nine years, so that just leaves Porthos with a question mark over length of service. Was Athos perhaps the last of the three Inseparables to join up, with d'Artagnan now completing the boy band?
Richelieu pulls himself back together and tells her that d'Artagnan's fate is a matter of indifference to him. Her task is to find Vadim, because he doesn't trust the Musketeers as much as all that after all. She smiles and leaves, twirling her posy.
RICHELIEU: Are those flowers for me?
MILADY: No.
Heh.
Continued in Part Two
